February 17th, 2002


get physical!

yesterday i was sitting in my room feeling kinda, i dunno, uninspired about life again, when I decided to clean the place. So I dusted and vacuumed. Then I was uninspired again so I did homework. The I thought to myself, "Y'know what self? Last year at this time you were redecorating! And breaking up with a boyfriend! You had so many interesting things to do!" And I was right, it was time for a change.

I like my boyfriend now, but it's true that my room has looked the same all year. If I couldn't afford to re-decorate the least I could to would be rearrange the furniture, so I did. Started around 11 p.m. (you gotta do furniture rearranging in the middle of the night, it's just a neighborly rule)

It was nice. My computer now faces a window which is a bad idea because the glare is annoying, but I have a much better view of what's going on outside my door. My bed isn't against a wall anymore either, so Mom would be proud (it's sort of a dorm room convention to put beds against walls to save space, but it creates awful fung shui). The only bad thing was that I totally lost my microwave place, so it's currently under my bed. That's probably not good, guess I'll find out.

Today I woke up and piddled around on the internet for a few hours. Did breakfast with Dave. Felt guilty about missing church again. Mikey came over which was nice, I gave back his coat which was kinda funny because it's like 60 degrees out today. Then I got inspired again (i know!) and ran to the fitness center and lifted weights. Ran back. Felt good. sit-ups. I feel fantastic.

It was funny, there were all these track people there lifting too, it reminded me of that life used to have when my body mattered so much - when everything I put into it, did to it, thought about it, was crucial. I was one of the more minor atheletes so I had a healthy image of myself--there were girls on scholarship who coach put so much pressure on to lose wieght they'd eat nothing but ice cubes for days. But that wasn't me, I was healthy and basically happy. Didn't get injured. Wasn't the team drama queen. I was good at being invisible on that team.

There was one day, my freshman year, that I wasn't invisible, because I had a good day and did a lot better than anybody ever thought I could. Surprised them all. Showed them all. Proved I was good enough to be on that team. I was a different person then, and that was one of those days I was released from the body I had. High jumping is a funny even, there aren't many things that are just about making yourself fly. Most air sports lift you up first or launch you off a springboard or half-pipe or something, but not us, we were on our own and once you get to a point when you're really good, you really get your takeoff and approach and everything down, you learn what it's like to just be a flying creature. It's powerful. You are your own part of the sky.

But I digress.

The olympics last night were TOTALLY AWESOME! I decided that short track speed skating is like their hurdles - you can win just by being the only one left standing at the end, how cool is that? I love it. Also love that swiss ski jumper from a few days back who won two gold medals - not only an underdog, but totally cute, and I love seeing speechlessly happy people on TV. They push cameras in the wrong faces so often; parents who just lost a child, politicians who just lost the election, it's great to see someone on TV who is just so happy they're shaking, admitting that there are no words to describe how great the world is right now. Coupled with the fact that the swiss guy didn't know a whole lot of english, it just rocked.

Rememer a few years ago when Bengini (i think?) won all those acadamy awards for "Life Is Beautiful"? It was a great movie, BTW, and he was so happy by the second speech he said he wanted to "...fly to jupiter and make love to everyone". I love it!

I'm gonna go shower now, wash off the weight room nastiness. it's a beautiful day out, did I mention that? I love beautiful days, open windows, sunshine, coffee, music... yup :)
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