February 11th, 2002

planet

a good inseam is hard to find

Okay so a couple days ago I got this email from my favorite clothes source, http://longelegantlegs.com , about their new spring collection. I was excited of course so I ran straight to the website to look around and clicked on the JEANS section because they have cute new things there fairly often. Then all the sudden I noticed that there were only like three pairs on there and (brace yourselves) my favorite low-rise stretch bootleg jeans were NOT THERE!

My favorite jeans discontinued? How could I be so cursed? Does God hate me?

So I spent the next two days thinking about my jeans every time I put them on (I have the same style in three colors, it's basically my daily gig). Like, "maybe i should just wear sweats. ration these out. they have to last my whole life now." Or, "I should develop a system so I don't wear any one pair too many times in a period. Ah, the crushing acceptance - I was going through stages of grief and everything.

Then today the Long Elegant Legs catalog showed up in my mailbox and I flipped through it again - only to find (and this is so cruel) that they were now carrying a Juniors line and had moved my trademark look to that section. Oh, I was so relieved! Just kinda sunk into the chair and took a deep breath in - the world was okay again, I was fine. Then this voice crept into my head...

Leading a fragile existance a bit, aren't we?

What? No! You don't understand, I'm tall, jeans are really hard to find! I spent most of my childhood wearing pants that only came to the top of my socks, I was scarred!

Listen to you! There are people in third world countries with no legs! You are a worthless American moron! You get so depressed and worked up over the dumbest little things and think they're important to you when they shouldn't be important to anybody... this world has so many tragedies and yet you put a shortage of bootleg jeans at the top of your list of things to be concerned about! You should be ashamed!

Yeah, I guess. Crap.

So what are you going to do about it?

Um, order jeans? Or maybe switch to these buttonflys, they're cute.

I am a loser.
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    relieved relieved