February 7th, 2002

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so is she hired or what?

career fair today was the worst EVER! I gave out 4 resumes, I think one of those was for an insurance company or something. My Conversation Of The Day award goes to an unnamed manufacturer of electronics products for this one:

Spacefem: I know in the past you've hired a lot of our graduates. How's this year looking? Are you going to have some positions opening up soon?
Booth Lady: Of course, we're doing great! We're encouraging everyone today to go to our website to see the complete list of job openings.
S: I just did yesterday. There weren't any.
L: Oh.
S: That's why I came by, to see if maybe things were looking up and you'd be adding some.
L: (stops smiling) Well to tell the truth, it's looking kind of bleak. But keep checking.
S: Um, okay thanks.
L: And I'll be sure to pass your resume along to the human resources department, okay?
S: Okay. It was nice meeting you!

Then she used my resume to wipe up a spill.

Okay, not really but she might as well have.

I'm vowing not to worry so much about the job thing, I mean, I'm not really in a huge hurry. I can always try to get a job as a street web designer, right? Or I could fix stuff. Or I could do nothing, that's really my favorite.

After the career fair I came back and changed into jeans & a t-shirt. I went and saw Dave and we talked for a long time and took a nap together (meeting people makes you tired!). I did a load of laudry to wash my new thinkgeek shirts (i am enabled and STFU - cute!). Tonight I'm making valentines with my floor and tomorrow I'm giving tours of the tech center to incoming freshmen - kids who I'll never see walk through those halls but might hear about me someday, and will notice my poster for my senior design project hanging up in the design lab sometime when they're slaving away on a project that will never work. Sometimes I'm so concerned with the future I forget to think about how great life is right now. And what's more, my life has never gotten worse. I've been afraid, several times, that I'd look at the past and miss elements of it, but it hasn't happened yet. Everyone else in the world looks back and wishes they were still in college, but something tells me my life won't be like that, I'll move on, and move up, and become more than I am. I'll turn 30 someday. Scary! I'll hopefully have a dog by then. I'll still live out my human existance in a little corner of the world somewhere, I'll still be someone, I'll still mean something. Sometimes I wonder what's so scary about all that.

"Our family is lucky," my dad told me once. It was when I was running track seeing everyone around me suddenly fall to injury and require knee surgery, but I was still fine, even after years of triple jumping which is pretty hard on one's legs. So call it luck that I'm happy, maybe, I'm pretty sure it'll stay with me for the rest of my life.

Long entry today! Big day though, with big thoughts. I'll see you tomorrow, journal.