January 29th, 2002

planet

Why do web designers take so damn long?

For anyone trying to figure out why they pay a girl to design a website and she doesn't come through for a month, I thought I'd make a little guide about the process I go through when designing sites from scratch or otherwise. Here it goes:

1) Get the site assignment. Think about it, then launch in and make a giant crazy design that may never load or look good, but is different than anything done before. Put the raw files in a folder and grind away. Get tired four hours later and go to bed.

2) Wake up the next morning and start writing the HTML to put it together. Notice that it sucks. Crap.

3) Start making a new site, in a folder "title#2". Change the position of the navigation. Change the colours. Start deleting things - not having a big weird background will save load time, right? Cut it down! Reduce! Make bare!

4) Decide the new design is just too simple and you have no talent.

5) Go back to the old design, revise a bit, crank away, figure it's the best you can do, and upload it after 5 hours. E-mail 7 friends and the site owner, hoping they'll just be impressed with the fact that you know HTML.

6) No one is impressed. "It's okay, it just doesn't have the flair that your last site did. Are you stressed or something?"

7) Drink a beer, watch "Amadeus" because you feel mediocre, and sleep on it.

8) Think of a new idea. It might work better. Spend 10 hours on it, another upload. The site owners are okay with it, the friends are okay with it, it's nice. Go that way.

9) A week later, it finally comes to you - the perfect design! I mean, what's one more folder, right? You've got 5 already with different websites FOR THE SAME PROJECT. Redesign the whole thing, upload and announce. The world smiles upon you and sunlight beams shine down when the search engines find the domain name. You finally did something worthwhile.

And that, my friends, is how a website is designed. Am I wrong? You'd think, too, that after I've done this much (my professional site isn't related to spacefem.com 'cause I don't want you hippies knowing my home phone number) I'd have the process down and be able to crank the whole thing out in 5 hours, but I CAN'T! I'm RETARDED! It takes me FOREVER!

i wish creativity was like a puppy and just came to love you when you called it.
planet

50's music, other news...

First, it's the "How Well Do You Know Spacefem?" test:
http://friendtest.com/viewquiz.php?account=Spacefem

Yeah! I took all yours, now you gotta take mine! It's hard to guess how impossible this will be, you know? WARNING: Disable JavaScript before you go to this site - it's pop-up-ariffic in an AWFUL way.

Second...

I'm trying to put together a CD to play at Grandma and Grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find hit love songs from 1951? Impossible! Ideas would be much appreciated, dang this is tougher than it looks. I've found some websites with top lists and everything, but if there's anything obscure from the 50's anybody knows about that would just be special, shoot it this way.