January 25th, 2002

andromeda

are you smart?

Sorry, I got bored, so I turned to online tests to occupy my time. Evil, I know. Anyway, I first went to http://www.humanforsale.com/ and learned that I was worth $1,579,910.00. As part of the test, they asked what my IQ was, and I had no idea, so I put down 110. I mean, I'm smart, right? Above average. I think average is like 90, retarded is like 70, 140 is for the freaking geniuses who solve quantum physics problems in their spare time.

Not so, apparently, because then I got bored and took an IQ test online and they said I should basically be solving quantum physics problems in my spare time. D'oh! They also said I could purchase my "IQ certificate", framed, for $9.95 plus shipping and handling to prove to all my friends that I'm a freaking genius.

I hate IQ tests.

So anyway, today's rant is about being smart.

There's this woman in the paper my mom always reads who has an advice column where she just answers random questions people send in about life. Apparently she's in the Guinness Book Of World Records for having the "highest IQ". Yeah, okay, I'm sure some hippy writing an advice column would run circles are Stephen Hawkings, Linus Torvalds and more. UHG! What pains me as that some people, mum included, really believe she's the smartest person in the world, even though she's never don't anything! It pains me to think about it.

I think that to claim intelligence is a big deal in this world, bigger than it should be. Everyone seems to think they're above average but then they've always got some excuse as to why they haven't accomplished anything... "I'm smart but I don't care to apply myself" (you're not smart then, moron!) "I'm smart but I have a bad learning curve, so I never learned to add but I'm a helluva poet." (what?!) I know, I'm sounding really cynical, but I feel like I'm surrounded by people who say these things, especially at a college where a good portion of the population is trying to flunk out.

I rate intelligence based on...
1) Accomplishments (what you've done in the world compared to what you were given to start with)
2) Common sense (you should just know if your country's civil war was from 1860-1864)
3) People skills (this might go along with #1, but I think getting along with people is really important. It's usually what keeps me down)
4) Whether or not you were ever a star trek fan (extra points for TNG 'cause it's my favorite!)
5) Confidence (are you gutsy enough to take apart your computer?)
6) Passion (you should know a little about everything, but knowing a lot about one thing adds a lot to your value)

So there, I'm showing that list to anybody who ever gives me that "I'm really smart, but..." thing again. I'm not saying they have to be smart to be my friend. I just want them to realize how I think of them. Oh, and I'm never putting some retarded test on my list, gawd that was a waste of my time.