Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,
Spacefem
spacefem

  • Mood:

eyeballs

I might have another eye infection.</p>

I had my first one in my entire life last summer for no good reason. It started the first weekend I got home, I had to make it through four weeks, two doctors, an opthomologist, and three perscriptions to get healthy again. With this you have to understand that eye infections aren't pretty, my eye was all red and diseased looking, then it spread to the other eye, and both were swollen and couldn't open all the way. I looked disgusting and was starting a miserable new job on top of that.

So I quit wearing contacts for months, washed my hands lots of times a day, and threw out make-up and facial soap after it was in the same decade as its expiration date, never wanting to deal with that mess again. Then Wednesday night I notice my lower eyelid itching a lot - thinking it was allergies I didn't care. By Friday, my eye's gotten a little red and the skin around it is swelling. Shit. I go to the doctor, he perscribes on eye drops I use every two hours for three days. I don't see any improvement.

I hate this for several reasons. First, visible infections change the way people look at you. It's okay to have a cold or be hungover, but eye infections are gross and people get that, "Doesn't she take care of herself?" feeling. I'm CLEAN! I use anti-bacterial soap and vacuum my room! I clean my contacts every night and even do the little rubbing thing with the extra really expensive chemicals! ARG!

Second, eyes are one of those things that you don't screw with. They're very important and they're supposed to work. Kind of like a button to launch a nuclear war - if it's not doing its job right, we're in a lot of trouble. So even if the button isn't pressing itself at random times, we want it to be working very well; no blinking, jiggling, alarm-setting, anything. Failure is not an option. It scares me to have another eye infection, it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong, or wonder if there is something wrong, even if the doctors all say this is very common and happens to everybody, it's not supposed to happen to me.

Okay, it's warm-compress time again. At least I can see out my right eye, for now, huh?

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