Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,

where are you going?

This is going to be the worst post ever, in terms of maintaining the image that spacefem is this timeless entity or something.

I spend about 80% of my time at work staring at a computer screen. I do not have internet access. Then I leave work, run errands, come back, eat, and have until around 10 or so (that's when I've found I really need to go to bed) to just sort of chill. Oh, and turn on this computer, to check e-mail and maintain my forum and update my livejournal.

Livejournal is a really big part of me, honestly, I keep feeling like if I don't update every day, my world as a young interesting person will end. But it's going to fade out soon, maybe not this year, maybe not next year, but I'm facing the fact that it won't go on forever.

I'm also having big issues juggling my online time. I have a strong urge to log on for one hour and one hour only, but I've still got websites to update from my days as a semi-professional. So I've got that.

And I've got people asking why I don't chat anymore. Well, I never could stand AIM, you all knew that. It was always a waste of time. And I sometimes miss IRC but I've logged in a couple times and found that things have changed, either people weren't there, or they were unusually hostile. to one another. Does anyone else feel like that? I just don't find it that interesting anymore.

I am changing. I have more private livejournal entries now, during school I never had private entries. But I just don't feel like it's that important anymore.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the internet is starting to feel like an obligation. It's not that I got a life, I had a life before, it's just that now I have a different one. I feel frustrated and awful about that. Why?

Oh, and I'm definately killing as soon as I get time and motivation to delete it all. Stupid project was a lame idea in the first place.
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