Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,

cleanup (life) on aisle three

I'm obsessed with coupons. I buy a sunday paper, cut out all the ones from the ads, and file them in my special coupon book. Then I roam the grocery aisles buying everything I found, because I get double coupons with my dillon's card. Get home, unpack my four clorox cleanup wipe containers that I got $1 off of.

Like tonight, I spent $37. Came home, and looked at my reciept, with store specials and coupons I saved $11. Felt pretty good about that. I hope I can keep up this coupon thing, it makes me feel much better about my world of debt, like it's okay that my next three paychecks go straight to the furniture company if I save $.47 on two cans of rotelle.

My life feels surreal, like I'm not really here. It's too weird to be grocery shopping all by myself, for myself, buying real food. In college I just bought ramen noodles and soda crackers. Now I buy stuff to make entire meals, with the vegitables and bread and everything. Then I come home to my own apartment, that feels surreal too, like any second my roommate is going to show up or my sister will move in.

I feel like that kid in home alone, you know, where at the beginning of the movie he's jumping on the bed eating popcorn yelling, then towards the middle of the movie he's going shopping and making "to do" lists, and it's funny because he's eight. I'm 22, so I guess it shouldn't feel funny, but it does. Maybe it's because it all happened too fast? Maybe it's because I'm in a world of adults, and I don't feel like an adult yet? In college, we were all definately not quite adults.

I like this. I'm happy. I just don't feel like I belong here yet.
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