Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,
Spacefem
spacefem

introvert challenge year

I liked this book: "Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert’s Year of Living Dangerously" by Jessica Pan

It's about an girl who decides she is lonely. She's married! But doesn't have a ton of friends, any close friends, and wants to change, so she decides to extrovert.

First let me ask you all an important question... this is the 2nd book I've read this year where somebody tries to do something life-changing for a year and it changes their life. So lj friends, it's up to you, what can I do for a year to improve my blog and make me a bestselling author? think hard now there's got to be something! this is a genre... can't I get into it? They all start out as bloggers and end up with a book deal!

okay back to Jessica Pan.

I personally see myself as an introvert on the cliff edge of being an extrovert. It's not hard to look like an extrovert when you work with engineers, that's part of the identity crisis. Compared to engineers, I am a butterfly cheerleader popular girl. I walk around and talk to people. I make phone calls. I loved getting back to the office. I schedule meetings and zoom to conferences.

But even though I keep going, I come home positively exhausted and can barely stay up past 9. I could go to sleep at any time. I must have a sleep strength too.

The author of this book has some traits I identify with... a little FOMO, a lot of yearning to have a few close friends. So she takes charge! She asks herself what truly scares her, talks to the best EXPERT she can find, and pulls herself into new situations.

She gets a therapist who challenges her to ask stupid questions to people on trains, like "who's the Queen of England?" (and she's in London). She gets a stand up comedian to explain how to stand up in front of people, and takes improv classes. She tries a friend app. She throws a dinner party!

Along the way she learns to relax a LOT about what people think about her, worry less about the people who disappear, and she makes friends. Introverts can get lonely! We get into our heads too much. It takes us longer to get lonely... Marc will go find people if he's left alone for 20 minutes. We might not understand that the loneliness is giving us anxiety. But we all need some people, and it's hard to find them once you're an adult.

I think her best tool really was her improv class. There's one down the street from me. It's on my list. I swear I'll do it, someday.
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