I didn't answer it because I was afraid to hope. I knew what my 40th birthday SHOULD have looked like - a house full of people, margaritas, music, food! but in the height of the pandemic I was afraid to even say that I wished for it, or thought it could happen for my 41st.
and now things have changed.
I am going to have friends over. we'll probably be outside, because our yard is nicer, because I spent furloughs ripping out brush and planning a fire pit. we can celebrate that, along with my birthday.
I've lost some friends. I mean, I was probably losing them anyway, I'd just eye roll when they went off on how Trump isn't so bad. But they became anti-mask assholes, too. I have realized we have nothing in common. If they can't show some basic interest in caring for people, I really can't deal with them.
We're drinking less, because we drank too much. We're spending less, because we learned how. We have better takeout connections, because we got a lot of takeout. I'm in better shape than I thought I would be. I am more peaceful and appreciative of friends than I thought I would be.
I couldn't picture what would happen in a year. I didn't believe we'd have vaccines. Deep down, I think I believed we'd all just get the virus, and I hoped I would be around. It's a miracle of privilege and science that I never got it, and now we're all vaccinated.
I couldn't predict the future at ALL and didn't want to try. And now I see that if I had tried, I wouldn't have gotten it right.