Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,
Spacefem
spacefem

growing up

We're hanging out together watching Big Bang Theory, an episode where Penny is having some financial issues... her car broke down, lent her ex bf money, not a movie star, behind on rent, etc. That's the conflict, hilarity ensues and all will be fine in 20 minutes because it's a sitcom.

All the sudden Olive, age 7, is SOBBING, looks at me with tears streaming down her face and says "I'm scared to grow up I don't want to need money! I don't even know what I'm going to be!"

SERIOUSLY. movies about vampires or zombies are not scary to her. but ADULTHOOD and all its baggage was suddenly terrifying? I felt awful! Took her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her and said it's okay, it's okay, let's watch something else. You don't have to come to terms with adulthood right now on top of starting the second grade this month.

I tried to tell her that

1) growing up is awesome. remember, I have a candy bowl on my desk?

2) growing up is a LONG WAYS AWAY, you've got YEARS. elementary, middle and high school, then college, and then

3) it doesn't even matter people switch jobs all the time. if you become a teacher and decide you wanted to be a doctor, have at it. if you become an engineer and decide you should have been an artist, great. You do not have to pick your career when you're 7.

4) finally, if you're worried about money, you can still live with me and I will give you money, okay? I love you.

I wasn't sure if it helped or not. Olive just gets really heavy thoughts! One day she asked if we'd ever thought of putting her into an orphanage. I told her of course not, where would she get that? Even if Marc and I both died, she'd just live with all the other family members we have. THAT set her off! my reassuring plans just reminded her that WE CAN DIE and she freaked. She already tells us that she's sad when we drive past gravesites because she "misses all the dead people", and she does not know anyone who's died. Where does she get this stuff?

in all honestly, I found myself wondering at work the next day if being a grownup was that awesome. I was having a day. pressures from many angles. but we keep going, and fix things, and work together, and I get to go chat with people to get my feelings out. she is surrounded by second graders, with a developing little mind hasn't had much time to contemplate life's big mysteries.

no sitcoms for a while, huh?
Tags: spacebaby2
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