lately global warming has been annoying me, because I think it's turning into one of those "them" causes, and it really can't be. a super-great article in Bitch about feel-good philanthropy opened my eyes up to this, I don't remember what issue the article was in but it focused in on the media telling us we can buy a bracelet or a t-shirt or a commemorative ___ that will help the cause... whatever you buy is marked up $10, $3 goes to fund an organization working for change. people feel like they're helping.

I think the world has gotten worse since the article. Target has an entire pink section devoted to fighting breast cancer now. granted, most of us can only do the feel-good stuff when it comes to that cause, it's not like we're going to all go be cancer researchers. maybe that's why America loves the cause so much.

We don't luck out so much on other things, like global warming. "Do you believe in it? I believe in it! We're causing it! I wish They would do something about it!". "They" is, of course, the government, or faceless "big corporations", which we all deny working for and supporting and being part of... I'M not corporate America, corporate America is corporate America.

I think the term "global warming" has made the environmental cause, well, global, implying that us little guys can't do anything about it and we now have the right to yammer on to our friends about how it's just got to stop, but we don't actually have to carpool to work, or boycott packaging, or turn down the damn air conditioner, or buy a smaller house. we can separate ourselves from it and handle it with gloves so we don't get dirty. i'm not saying I don't do it. I'm just saying I think it's backwards.

here's something I've discovered about activism...

activism is driven by the heart. occasionally it can be driven by guilt, but in my years of being an activist I've learned that guilt only brings about more guilt, and eventually leads to burnout because you can't heal the entire world. real activism is driven by truly wanting to make the world a better place.

what lead me to post on this? the lovely members of weddingplans love nothing but drama as soon as you bring up controversial issues, especially engagement rings. The traditional diamond engagement ring was basically invented by DeBeer's, who had nearly a monopoly on diamonds and wanted to use that good-old-fashion marketing trick where you fool people into thinking something is sacred (for more info, research hydrox vs. oreo cookies). They used good marketing to increase demand, monopoly to decrease supply, and then allowed/encouraged atrocious human rights violations to keep it all going. No, I haven't seen Blood Diamond, but I have been an Amnesty International member for almost ten years now so I got to read about all this fun when it was actually happening. Awareness brought about pressure on countries to watch the issue and pay attention to where diamonds come from but it's not all that perfect, and even if a diamond ring no longer represents the severed hand of an enslaved african child, I think it still represents a bad bad lesson in the power of buying, well, American Traditions.

But you're not really supposed to talk about this, especially not in weddingplans, because you'll make everybody feel bad about their pretty new engagement rings. I mean, we're brides, we get anything we want. If puppies on spikes outside the reception hall are required to make that special day, it should be alright.

so back to the activist philosophy...

I think that every time you speak your mind, you run the risk of offending someone, regardless of whether you're right or wrong. So if you really think you're right you might as well speak up. It's not about being holier-than-thou, it's about finding out who needs inspired. If a friend of yours volunteers at a homeless shelter, should they keep it all a big secret so nobody knows about it? What the hell for? They know that you're probably not going to drop everything to volunteer, too. They probably also know that there are things they could be doing... while feeding the homeless, they're not saving the whales, campaigning for labor rights, providing the poor with low-cost housing or phone banking for progressive causes. and they could feed a lot more homeless by selling the car they drove to the kitchen. but that's not the point of activism. real activists understand that we're all working towards a light and you work within your capacity. you do what you do and you talk about it, and you tell everyone to keep doing better. you encourage each other. you avoid selling your soul to corporate America. and you quit stressing about who's getting offended, because frankly, we've got better things to do. it's only the insecure people who are annoying about it, sorry to say.

Happy boxing day!

I forgot to write about something important, which I was reminded of when we were toasting Christmas and talking about what we were thankful for... I quit the board of the gay rights organization I've been working with the past three years. oh yes. I didn't quit the organization - marc and I will still do their website. But I'm not the secretary, or the vice-chair, and I'm not responsible for starting anything.

Here's the thing to understand about doing good for the world. If someone calls me and says, come in and phone bank for two hours, or write a php script so we can keep member databases online, or go to a rally, then I can do that. I know how, I'll tell them a time that works for me, it'll get done. Maybe not right now, but sometime, and if I can't do it I'll be honest and say that I can't and then it's not my problem anymore.

When you're on the board, everything is your problem. The organization I was with never had any fucking money, and that was my problem. Our member newsletters didn't make it out, it was my problem. And after two years of being on the board and three years being a member, I was SICK of it. I think what really did it to me was this... about halfway through the year, our treasurer quit. And instead of worrying about where we'd find another treasurer, all I could do was feel jealous. Because seriously, how come she gets to? I've been in this longer, dammit, and it's my turn to quit, but I don't feel like I can because nobody else will step up to the plate and knowing that always keeps me in.

When the end of my term came up I decided that I was too bitter to even do the organization service anymore, and I told everyone that. They said no one could take my place, and I told them that I could not let that be my problem anymore. Everyone else gets to call it not their problem, I could to. And I feel great about it! And what's even better... someone did step up to take my place, we still have a full executive committee, and these weren't people who would have wanted on there if I hadn't refused to run again.

Yes, I can do good for an organization, but other people can to. And I need at least a year off because I'm tired and frustrated and burnt out, and that's okay.

At work, I know guys who complain all the time that they can't take a vacation because they're so overworked and behind, and I want to strangle them. These are generally people who are really bad at delegating, and pretty bad at understanding their place in the company, too... they see themselves as so important that airplanes would stop coming down the line if they weren't around. We have 10,000 employees, the idea that the whole line depends on one person for anything is rediculous! If no one will pick up your work while you're gone, well, maybe your work wasn't that important?

And I thought my little non-profit was totally different because we don't have 10,000 members, we have about 70, and only 10 or so who come to meetings all the time and do real work. But I've learned differently. No matter what you do, if it's really important, someone will do it when you're gone. Someone took over advicenators for me when I couldn't handle it. 20-some moderators watch the spacefem.com forums. And when I quit the gay rights board, someone took my place. Is it still important for me to do things, be involved, contribute? Of course. Every little bit helps. But there's no reason for me to push myself to the point of being miserable because I'm scared that I can't be replaced. And that's pretty much awesome... at least, it made for a much more peaceful holiday.