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spacekid's shoe tying

When Josie started kindergarten we bought her a new pair of tennis shoes, some sketchers.

When Josie started first grade I took her shopping again and bought her another pair of sketchers, and also noticed that 1) her kindergarten shoes were so done. They looked like she'd been working in a mine all year or something. Kids are hard on shoes! nothing left to the bottom, holes in the toes, they went straight to the trash. 1) she'd gone up a size and a HALF!

So mental note: maybe I should be nice to my child and buy her tennis shoes more than once a year.

Here we are mid-year, her first grade september sketchers look like crap, so I was wanting to get new shoes and try a different brand. That meant we had to make the big jump to shoelaces. People, we can all only wear velcro for so long (guys at work disagreed with me on this but I digress...)

She was game to learn how to tie shoes. I got her some filas, and a pair of converse all-stars. Marc tried to shoe her how, on the couch, but she was getting frustrated, the TV was on, so I said Josie we need to go upstairs to a quiet place and do this!

Right hand: pinch one shoelace so it's folded over and you've got a loop. Left hand: wrap the other lace around your bunny ear. Push left hand lace through where your thumb is. Switch hands... right hand grabs what left hand is pushing through. Monitor dangly ends and pull tight. GO SLOW.

Glad I didn't have some weird left handed kid, would I have to switch this all around to teach her?

She got frustrated, threw herself on the ground, grabbed other random toys. If she doesn't learn something INSTANTLY she wants to abandon it. I yelled "JOSIE YOU HAVE TO BE PERSISTENT AND PATIENT AND DETERMINED AND KEEP TRYING! IF CAN'T BE PATIENT I AM WALKING OUT OF HERE BECAUSE I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO!" And she'd yell "NO I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE!" but she'd be laying on the floor losing her neurotic little six-year-old mind, NOT listening to my advice on shoe tying, not wanting to sit UP, wanting to tie the two shoes together because it looked funny, not getting anywhere.

Then I realized that I was yelling and threatening to leave, as a punishment for not being patient. Bit of irony there. Okay, I have to do this. So I counted to ten, took deep breaths, and patiently said "Let's try again!"

Honestly once that happened it went really fast. Each attempt got closer. I told her "you have to do something a lot to get it right... at least ten times!" She was counting attempts. After 10-15 minutes of attempts, she had one that she did by herself and it was TIED! I was so proud, but told her that's the start, you have to do that ten times, and we got a cup of marbles and I put a marble in it. After ten marbles we went down and showed Marc and she was so proud of herself. We've still got some subtle form improvements to work on but I have to admit she learned really fast, like she always does. And I learned an important lesson on mindfulness. Good all around.

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Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
dadi
Jan. 24th, 2017 03:47 pm (UTC)
Wow. In one seating. I am impressed!
Being one of these weird left handies without any likewise person to learn from, I had a very hard time with this. I have no children of my own but am regularly called to try to teach shoe-lacing to the lefties of the family and friends. I tend to not start with shoes.. I just bring a sturdy ribbon and a plushy animal and we do our first efforts on that :) Never managed in one session though! Kudos!
becomingkate
Jan. 24th, 2017 03:57 pm (UTC)
Oh jeez, good luck. My son is 10 and he walks around with his shoes untied all day. It drives me nuts! He says "these laces don't work", LOL. I'm actually going to look into velcro or some other shoe that doesn't actually tie for his next pair.
(ps I'm left handed and my son and husband are both right handed-it never even occurred to me that that might complicate the shoe tying-maybe that's why he can't do it so it stays ;))

Edited at 2017-01-24 03:57 pm (UTC)
davesmusictank
Jan. 24th, 2017 04:10 pm (UTC)
Ha.I use to wear shoes like that as a kid. Anyway i love Sketchers shoes,
nverland
Jan. 24th, 2017 06:05 pm (UTC)
Congratulations on the shoe tying experience!
astrogeek01
Jan. 24th, 2017 08:47 pm (UTC)
Way to go Josie!

My kid ties her shoes in a really weird way but it works. I have no idea how she learned that, it wasn't how I taught her at all.
lilac_ribbon
Jan. 29th, 2017 03:31 pm (UTC)
I never managed to learn to tie a shoe properly, but I learned how to do it some other way and it works, so yay!
sandokai
Jan. 24th, 2017 09:55 pm (UTC)
That's impressive. I'm not sure if I could teach my kindergartner to tie laces...love the marble in a jar idea!
anais_pf
Jan. 24th, 2017 10:44 pm (UTC)
I am right-handed and I tie my shoelaces with exactly the opposite hands as what you've explained here. I am sure I was taught this way, too -- this is not my own weird rebellion or anything.

Also, I was once taught a particular knot in a bondage class and the instructor encouraged us to keep making the knot until we developed a muscle memory for it. I did it about a hundred times that evening. I couldn't explain how to do it, but my hands always remember how.

In order to double-check my first statement, I had to actually tie one of my shoes to make sure, because I couldn't explain how to tie a shoe, either. Muscle memory.
cactus_rs
Jan. 24th, 2017 11:39 pm (UTC)
A left-handed person taught me how to tie my shoes, so even though I'm a righty I apparently tie them like a lefty?
fansee
Jan. 25th, 2017 12:35 am (UTC)
My right-handed mother taught me how to thread and knot the thread on a needle. I'm right-handed, too, but I copied her exactly. Now, sixty some years later, I still thread and knot the thread left-handed. FanSee
fansee
Jan. 25th, 2017 12:31 am (UTC)
My granddaughter handled the shoe-tying business differently. She got sneakers (as we call tennis shoes in Philadelphia) before she knew how to tie a bow, so every time she had to put her shoes on, she had to wait around until someone tied them for her. Galled her no end. Then one day she brought her mother a single shoe with an already-tied shoelace. When her mother examined it, it wasn't tied: it just looked tied. She'd managed to mimic what a bow looked like without tying it!

This is the same child that whined and yowled until the training wheels were removed from her bike. Then she snuck outside by herself and taught herself to ride. Her parents watched from the living room as she fell down again and again until she mastered it, alone. (The parking area beside their house had a pretty good slope to it, so she wasn't learning on the flat.)

Lord, I'd forgotten all that until you reminded me. She's going to be 24 on Saturday, and she hasn't changed much. FanSee

Edited at 2017-01-25 12:36 am (UTC)
koremelanaigis
Jan. 25th, 2017 02:32 am (UTC)
I tried to teach my kid the Ian knot http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm which I find easier than tying shoelaces normally (using the method you described). But he couldn't manage holding the ends taught with his little fingers while making the knot which meant that his knots were always way too loose. Eventually I gave up and let him use the bunny ears method, but I will try again with the Ian knot in a couple of years.

Good on you for persevering and helping her to persevere.
jume
Jan. 25th, 2017 06:53 pm (UTC)
for the record, I opted to wear velcro shoes well after I learned to tie laces because I figured they were more convenient 8)
altamira16
Jan. 26th, 2017 12:47 pm (UTC)
My son still gets upset at the thought of buying lace up shoes. Your daughter did such a good job.

Edited at 2017-01-26 12:48 pm (UTC)
luzclarita
Jan. 26th, 2017 08:51 pm (UTC)

This skill learning hell sounds SO familiar. You're not alone.

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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