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lunch out

My coworkers aren't "go out to lunch" people... but the group next to us is. A few times I've invited myself out to go with them. I'm not their only outsider to join them for lunch, and they always seem happy to have me, and we have good talks.

But they never invite me, I always have to hint that I'd like to join them. I can't decide if that's because they're engineers and not too great at the social skills, or if they'd secretly really like to keep it to their own group?

Maybe I should be better at getting my group to go out. Not all the time, just once a week, like on Fridays. We make it happen like four times a year or something. My group is a little more diverse though... different ages, different personalities. We work together well but we'll never all be friends.

Nah, I feel like I get along with the group next door, I just wish they wouldn't walk right past my desk on their way out without noticing me. I've invited myself along with them enough times that I feel established as a "go out" kinda person, not someone who's too busy or loves eating at her desk.

Oh and of course, deep down, I always wonder if it's because I'm a girl. Yeah I know after eight years I should be over that sort of thing but it's hard to shake.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
amy0catherine
Nov. 20th, 2010 03:20 am (UTC)
Is their group ALL guys? If so, it really may be that simple. The dynamic may just be different with a girl in the group (rather than a mixed gender group)
spacefem
Nov. 20th, 2010 12:38 pm (UTC)
yup, most groups are all guys. once in my career for like 18 months I worked in a group with ANOTHER girl, it was shocking that two of us were in the same group!
humaazul
Nov. 20th, 2010 04:39 am (UTC)
It's not about you. They just don't think to invite other people. I can almost promise this.
nessalc
Nov. 20th, 2010 04:42 am (UTC)
As I am one of the guys you speak of, I have to say that this is true, we just don't think about it. Sorry. Speak up next time! I no longer go out every day, but I try to make it once a week with this group, now that they're over on the West side of town, too...
spacefem
Nov. 20th, 2010 12:33 pm (UTC)
aw crap you still read my blog? lol... don't tell them I have a complex about this :)
ricknm505
Nov. 21st, 2010 09:09 pm (UTC)
that is awesome. Now you know! Of course you are now going to edit your future work posts and that is sad.
(Deleted comment)
emelya_airin
Nov. 21st, 2010 07:03 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't worry about it. I can assure you that they just don't think about it. This same thing happens to my mom at work, and she's a middle school teacher (almost entirely women of a similar demographic). People just kind of live in their bubble. Keep inviting yourself and don't worry about it.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 21st, 2011 08:44 am (UTC)
I just added your feed to my favorites. I really enjoy reading your posts..
(Anonymous)
Jan. 30th, 2011 11:48 pm (UTC)
How can i ask you for more details? Great post needda know more....
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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