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Sep. 13th, 2008

10:51 AM

a lady I used to work with sent me an e-vite to a mary kay party. in case you're new to this journal, my battle with middle class women and "selling you shit" parties has been a ongoing, troubling theme. I felt like they were bullshit, then I realized I was sure they were bullshit, and now I feel no shame in saying so. But it's taken years.

before we get to this though, can I express how inappropriate it is to give someone's e-mail address to e-vite? Or any other site, for that matter? Never type someone's e-mail address into any website. Ughrgh!

So I didn't respond, and Thursday at work she calls me. Mind you, this is not a friend of mine, she's never invited me to anything else, we haven't spoken since she had twins and left the office.

Her: I didn't hear back from you about the party Friday! Will you be joining us?

Me: No, I'm sorry, I'm not going to make it.

Her: Oh that's too bad! Do you have other plans?

Me: No, I sure don't. I just hate makeup. yeah, I could have lied to be polite. but why?

Her: (laughs nervously) Oh. Well it's not just makeup, there are lots of skincare products, a spa line, you might really enjoy it.

Me: You know, it's amazing, I'm not interested in any of that. Lotions. Soaps. I can't stand it at all. at this point, I'm doing my stepford wife impression because I think the irony is amusing.

Her: Well the holidays are coming up you know! Do you have any hard-to-shop-for people on your Christmas list?

Me, and at this point I cannot freaking believe we're still talking: I wouldn't buy the stuff for them either. In fact I can't think of a single thing that would motivate me to support any part of the idea of buying it.

Her: Okay, well, take care then I guess!

Me: Well you too! Thanks for calling!

I know you're thinking that this conversation was over-dramatized for the internet. It's not. This is exactly what I said, and exactly how long it took her to leave me the frack alone. I think I'm going to start my own line of hostess gifts... big ceramic middle fingers you can send to people when you're tired of buying all their crap. Lotions? Seriously? It's amazing how pleasantly moisturized I feel with the stuff that's $2.50 from Target. But she just kept asking questions! Whyyyy!

Comments

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indolence wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 04:11 pm (UTC)

Ahahaha. Good for you. :)

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undonebeauty wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 04:26 pm (UTC)

I have a friend who sells Mary Kay.. I agreed to let her give me a facial once cause I thought it would get me off her list.. nope! Now I keep getting e-mails asking me what I want to buy, when I'm going to come work for Mary Kay.. blah blah blah.

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callingthemoon wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 04:53 pm (UTC)

Yes, this.

Mommy groups are the worst. And I can't tell you how many times I've been asked... "So, do you sell anything?" like just because I am a SAHM I must have some product to sell. It's kind of amusing.

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schmelf wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 05:10 pm (UTC)

I'm working on being able to do things like that. Not for make up parties, as being male means I get spared that particular bullshit. But when you give a generic "no, can't make it" in response to any sort of invitation, and the person is dense enough to ask you what the reason is, I think it's perfectly acceptable to come right on out and say that you find either them or their invitation (or both) unappealing. Of course, I usually ended up saying ridiculous for the sake of sparing their feelings, and usually end up having to be even more of a jerk later.

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easter wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 06:19 pm (UTC)

OMG, how completely, ridiculously, horrendously inappropriate of this woman in so many different places.

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humaazul wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 07:22 pm (UTC)

I was invited to a Tupperware party for this weekend. I ducked out.

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kart wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC)

Ladies pushing Mary Kay and Tupperware,
Kids pushing subscriptions to Grits or Reader's Digest,
Everybody selling Amway* crap,

All forms of multilevel marketing are scams.

*Oh apparently they're now known as "Quixtar" in the US, to dodge the reputation of their old name.

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gamerchick02 wrote:

Sep. 14th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)

They're known as both. I hate Amway.

Dick-head Devos tried running for Governor of Michigan. Got stomped.

Thank god (and I'm not really into god...)

Amy

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greenwavedave wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 08:27 pm (UTC)

1) Party foul for calling you at work.
2) Mary Kay is a cult...it has to be.

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illusio wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC)

yeah... what a world.

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spacefem wrote:

Sep. 13th, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC)

i detect sarcasm?

hey, I may not always talk about the deepest most intellectual issues, but at least I update my lj more than once a month :) *poke*

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illusio wrote:

Sep. 14th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)

haha, no, seriously... what a world; these people are probably a frightening majority! the thing was, i was going to say something negative about the midwest and 'not missing it' but then i decided you didn't deserve a jab like that- you like the place. most of my experiences there were extremely 'suburban', too, so i can't safely say it's entirely a 'midwest' thing.

i love reading everything you write, actually- i bookmarked that entry about weddings because it articulated a lot of how i feel about them. i'm just careful with what i say here sometimes.

and yeah, my journal is in some disrepair... too much like the rest of my life, unfortunately :p i should do something about all that soon.

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spacefem wrote:

Sep. 14th, 2008 04:26 pm (UTC)

gots it! okay, cool. I do worry about my journal sounding trivial sometimes, like, the worst thing about my friday was the makeup lady calling, while other people are homeless and starving. and i definitely thought i was laying on the trite & fluffy during wedding time... i used to de-friend people in wedding planning phases, and there I was getting sucked in. hmm.

you write good entries, when you write! a little vague all the time but the language is interesting. at least you're still here checking in, points for that.

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unrooly wrote:

Sep. 14th, 2008 12:17 am (UTC)

I keep thinking that what we need is an ANTI buying shit party. Maybe a party where someone comes in and teaches you how much shit you do NOT need, and how to get by just fine with as little as possible. Like how to make your own cleaning products and skin care and shampoo with about $5. Or how to make a couple of meals that last you 3 weeks and NOT using tupperware to store it.

If I could only think of a way to make that profitable some how - or make it so that it at least breaks even - I'd so do that.

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infinimpulse wrote:

Sep. 14th, 2008 04:02 am (UTC)

I do that, too. I hate those kinds of things with a passion and let people that try to push me into doing them know right away. Not wasting my time, thanks.

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rita wrote:

Sep. 14th, 2008 12:29 pm (UTC)

I went to a Mary Kay party once. Afterwards, one of the MK ladies took me aside and said, "I didn't want to say this in front of the other girls, but you are *so* beautiful." Right. She seamlessly transitioned into, "Have you ever thought about selling Mary Kay?" "I'd be a terrible Mary Kay salesperson," I said, "I'm not a people person." "Well, it takes all kinds, really," she responded, and continued trying to convince me to join their cult. It really pissed me off.

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cavok wrote:

Sep. 14th, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)

Hahaha, that's awesome.

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rynhollis wrote:

Sep. 14th, 2008 09:12 pm (UTC)

Wow - Now I REALLY want to know how to obtain a small supply of ceramic upraised middle fingers... If you find those, I'm in for a dozen!

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season wrote:

Sep. 14th, 2008 10:42 pm (UTC)

I've never been harassed about going to a Mary Kay party, but I did go to a sex toy party once. It was hilarious. But then again I am easily amused!

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spacefem wrote:

Sep. 15th, 2008 02:21 am (UTC)

i actually enjoy sex toy parties! they're a lot more empowering, a lot less telling you that you'll get ugly and old if you don't buy stuff.

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belgand wrote:

Sep. 15th, 2008 07:22 am (UTC)

You must have gone to a better one. I find the sex toy parties to be even worse. They're selling incredibly basic, generic sorts of things and acting like it's exciting and naughty. The prices are inferior and I strongly suspect that you're not getting the best products either.

I swear one of them was trying to sell a tiny bottle of what was basically mint lube for $20 or so. The same sort of stuff where you can pick up a bottle four times as large at any drug store for about $5.

If you want empowering it's hard to do much better than Good Vibrations though. While the web site is nice the store is especially great and they tend to be very involved in the community along with running a ton of different workshops, classes, and lectures.

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belgand wrote:

Sep. 15th, 2008 07:18 am (UTC)

Hmm... I think you went a bit far in being impolite about it nevertheless. I mean, yes, you ought to speak your mind, but sometimes it's more reasonable to just do so and be done with it. I have no compunctions about hanging up the phone on anyone I no longer wish to speak to. I tell them no, ask to be removed, and hang up. It saves everyone time and is probably one of the most direct and least rude ways to deal with things. Even if that person is just some idiot trying to sell overpriced crap to friends and vague acquaintances.

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