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eyeballs

I might have another eye infection.</p>

I had my first one in my entire life last summer for no good reason. It started the first weekend I got home, I had to make it through four weeks, two doctors, an opthomologist, and three perscriptions to get healthy again. With this you have to understand that eye infections aren't pretty, my eye was all red and diseased looking, then it spread to the other eye, and both were swollen and couldn't open all the way. I looked disgusting and was starting a miserable new job on top of that.

So I quit wearing contacts for months, washed my hands lots of times a day, and threw out make-up and facial soap after it was in the same decade as its expiration date, never wanting to deal with that mess again. Then Wednesday night I notice my lower eyelid itching a lot - thinking it was allergies I didn't care. By Friday, my eye's gotten a little red and the skin around it is swelling. Shit. I go to the doctor, he perscribes on eye drops I use every two hours for three days. I don't see any improvement.

I hate this for several reasons. First, visible infections change the way people look at you. It's okay to have a cold or be hungover, but eye infections are gross and people get that, "Doesn't she take care of herself?" feeling. I'm CLEAN! I use anti-bacterial soap and vacuum my room! I clean my contacts every night and even do the little rubbing thing with the extra really expensive chemicals! ARG!

Second, eyes are one of those things that you don't screw with. They're very important and they're supposed to work. Kind of like a button to launch a nuclear war - if it's not doing its job right, we're in a lot of trouble. So even if the button isn't pressing itself at random times, we want it to be working very well; no blinking, jiggling, alarm-setting, anything. Failure is not an option. It scares me to have another eye infection, it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong, or wonder if there is something wrong, even if the doctors all say this is very common and happens to everybody, it's not supposed to happen to me.

Okay, it's warm-compress time again. At least I can see out my right eye, for now, huh?

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
dham
Nov. 3rd, 2001 03:01 pm (UTC)
...
could be worse. i got shot in the face 6 years ago. can't see out of my right eye at all. it's impossible not to notice. the eye is smaller and continually pink. all the time, i get "hey, you got pink eye?"... last weekend i was at taco bell and this guy goes "woah, what happened to your eye?" - "i got shot." - "did it hurt?" -- i've heard that literally probably 500 times since it happened. like people need to ask this. "no, there's a piece of metal in my optical nerve. it ripped off my retina and completely tore up my iris. it felt great."

anyway... eyes are definitely very valuable. they also heal exceptionally well. i'd definitely go to the doctor, but if they're confident that you'll be fine, i wouldn't worry too much about it. and even if the one goes... life's not *that" hard with only one eye...
spacefem
Nov. 3rd, 2001 09:44 pm (UTC)
Re: ...
people ask you if it hurt to GET SHOT? good lord, I thought I had it tough hearing questions about how I "got so tall" (steroids, people, dontcha know?)

anyway...

you never wrote that story, at least i didn't find it on your website, you said your face was... different looking, but i didn't know it was shot. makes my little infection problems seem pretty stupid.


dham
Nov. 5th, 2001 05:14 am (UTC)
Re: ...
aye, most people i'm friends with, i know in the physical sense. so they already know. my site is for them now... when i started, it was mine... but i've done everything that can be done with a web page over the last 5 1/2 years... so it was time to get back to the basics... write for someone other than myself... anyway, that's why it's not mentioned there... no reason to...

it's noticeable, but it could have been worse. i am self conscious about the way i look, but you'd never know if you met me... not that i fake... but there are only a few people who *really* matter to me... and its their opinion that counts. man i'm hungry. i need to go downstairs and get an egg, cheese & bacon on croissant sammich. that's better than sitting here in my office.

and yes, "did it hurt?" is probably the most frequent question i get about it... 'sides "what happened to your eye?" and "hey, i think you've got pink eye" which, while not a question, is irritating all the same.

how far down my thoughts page did you get? :)
spacefem
Nov. 5th, 2001 04:52 pm (UTC)
Re: ...
i forget, i should go back and read more, i liked it :)

egg sounds really good right now
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )